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Don't Blame Society Because You Feel Ugly

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16th June 2008

heartrevolt1:51pm: The Gender Public Advocacy Coalition is pleased to announce the release of its 2008 GENIUS Survey in partnership with Ernst & Young. GenderPAC works to ensure that classrooms, communities and workplaces are safe for everyone to learn, grow and succeed.

The Gender Equality National Index for Universities & Schools (GENIUS), GenderPAC’s most recent effort to end discrimination and promote awareness, encourages colleges and universities to recognize the benefits of a GenderSAFE campus - supportive equitable and protective for all students. Choosing to participate in GENUIS sends a strong public statement that bullying or discriminating based on the race, sex or gender of a student, faculty, or staff member is not tolerated at your institution

Fill out the survey at: www.gpac.org/GENIUS2008survey, and make sure that we have data for as many schools as possible. Your voice will help us continue to work towards a safe and welcoming environment for every student

15th October 2007

belly___dancer9:09am: Just for shits and giggles I skimmed over the entries over in kissmyass_cosmo and oh are they as pitiful as ever. Really, they claim that the beauty industry is a blight on our society, oppressing women as a whole, but the attitudes they choose to project are harming them more than advertisements ever could. Let's take a look shall we?

That entry's a gem because it's essentially a conglomeration of all the aspects that community stands for.

Let's see we've got...

The proponents that chubby to morbidly obese women, cottage cheese thighs and all, should be considered aesthetically pleasing to everyone. Hey, being cellulite ridden and fat makes you an individual, imagine that.

When an ad claims a product can render you "sexy", the true result is it'll make your brother want to fuck you along with every other salivating human with a penis.

Whenever an ad for means of diet loss crops up, that's an immediate license to be outraged beyond belief. Can you imagine how delightful these insanely insecure women are in real life, if that's all it takes to set you off?

The media condemns tongue rings as it makes you a promiscuous hussy and an unfit mother.

Here's the token comment about being threatened by women who meet conventional beauty standards. If she were so comfortable with herself, would other women's choices bother her? It reeks of jealousy.

A jab at women who are thin (like a little boy!) with large breasts. I thought that community was all about accepting women for what they are regardless of their appearance?

It makes me laugh thinking of how just an image of an attractive woman can send them over the edge. They're barely worth even addressing because all it takes to piss them off is a lip gloss advertisement. How pathetic can a person get?

28th June 2007

trancendenz9:26pm: Okay, no one has posted here in a while. So I'm going to make a post.


Something that has been bothering me and coincidentally was the topic of a recent KMAC post. I actually really liked the post itself, but a comment really, really bothered me. Anytime anyone talks about beauty standards someone IMMEDIATELY places the blame on a patriarchy that only wants women to fail. This is so hard for me to swallow for a number of reasons.

The first is why is it that when women ostracize others or place the beauty standard on others it HAS to be a man's fault somewhere down the line? Are there not brutal women out there who find no pleasure other than to tear other women (and people in general) down? I find it very hard to believe that only men are the ones who wish to see this beauty standard fulfilled and often I think many who women perpetuate the standard by clinging to it only do so because they want to better than everyone else. They want to be adored. I mean look at Paris Hilton! Do you REALLY think she wants every women to be skinny and blonde? Then she wouldn't feel she was special anymore.

Second, do women HONESTLY think that all men are out to get them? It's like feminism these days consists of women who are paranoid schizophrenic. I look at my bf and think, my god does he really want me to fail? Of course not. Very few men want to see their sister or mother or wife or girlfriend living their life with depression because they can never reach this high standard of beauty. I mean, c'mon now. Let's think logically. The only reason ANYONE would want someone to fail is so they can take over or "win" themselves. What do men have to gain by keeping women down other than a world full of unhappy women that will most likely treat them like crap. I can understand the argument that women with low self-esteems are often likely to shortchange themselves as well as be manipulated by others. But everyone hates something about themselves. I often think very poorly about my own appearance and I would never let my bf or husband abuse me/manipulate me.

And as the person in their post said, most women don't even really WANT to attain this standard and are content to maximize their other attributes. Is it also a man's fault that most women can't attain this standard, or won't?

Fourth, plenty of men love women for things other than appearance. Of course a man has to be attracted to a woman or a man for a relationship to happen. Yet people are attracted to so many different attributes of other people that for looks to be the sole factor in forming opinions about a woman (or a man), let's be honest, very few people would get married or fall in love. Some of us look past the physical inconsistancies and eventually learn to love them/think they are beautiful all around.

Last, I really don't see how blaming some anonymous patriarchy is going to help women. If society is responsible, then we are all to blame. I'm tired of people trying to shurk what they know in their hearts is a deeper problem off onto people/groups who for the most part have no clue what is going on inside each other's heads. And even if someone can be put to blame, why are we blaming ALL men as if they have some secret club where they get together and try to hurt a woman's chance at success.

12th September 2006

rainbrains_girl5:33pm: Dearest Izzerwurst......
I just realized something. Our very well respected enemy izzerwurst is a hypocrite. She opposes porn and erotica yet she is a fan of Harry Potter slash. Now Slash is usually sexual art or writings of a fan made pairing consisting of two same sex characters.
So wait? So my darling Ms. Izzy, If you're so gung ho about Ms. Andrea Dworkin and killing porn and pornostars or whatever,
Why do you promote slash pairings from a children's book?
Isn't it kind of disturbing that you fantasize about Harry who is underage (from what I recall) having sex with other underage boys and over-the-age of consent wizards at Hogwarts?

I believe I have you pwned, Ms. Izzerwurst.

30th August 2006

rainbrains_girl4:03pm: Girl tells the truth and the harpies spew

A girl tells it like it is and some banshees from kissmyass_cosmo decide to jump down her throat for it.
Read here.

5th June 2006

photoxposure12:04am: THEY HAVE TO LIE TO MAKE POINTS NOW
From here.

Seriously, come on?! Is there some universal standard that I'm not aware of that actually states what I should and should not wear? I've noticed a lot of bigger clothes cover more skin. That's angering! Also, I seen an ad today for cellulite cream that had a woman with a tape measure around her thigh. It was at 16 inches and it said something about having thin thighs. 16 inches is is like super thin! That's probably like a size 0-2. I hope the ad didn't inspire anyone to go home and measure their thigh because it's a set up to feel bad about yourself.

No, no, it's not.

My girlfriend's thighs are about 15 inches around and she's a size 6.

So these idiots just lie to make their point now. Cute!

28th March 2006

trancendenz9:38pm: okay this is just freaky
"no one smiles during their period"

"I do! It has to do with avoiding tampons and pads, though... ;o)"

from the most recent kmac post.

I mean liking bloodplay and all is your personal preference, but liking blood that is black because of oxidizing and not wearing pads is pretty gross. I could be assuming too much but it goos me out. I guess if they had those one things that stick up there, but still. I've never heard of anyone not wearing at least SOMETHING during their period.

26th February 2006

protoaxl3:35am: Haha.

I haven't even done anything in KMAC and I've been banned.

I found out when I was going to post a comment to the Pink video.

There was some chick going " Yeah, but you can't just try out an eating disorder. It shouldn't be portrayed as a stupid diet tactic when there are people suffering from the disease."

(in reference to bulimia being portrayed in the video)

And I was going to say:

"I don't know.

I don't think it should be portrayed as simply an illness when it's a trendy diet tactic as well. I think its fair to show it as either or both."

But whatev. :)

12th February 2006


FROM kissmyass_cosmo:

I'm really disturbed by the idea of food - especially high calorie food - being a "guilty pleasure". There's something really twisted about introducing notions of sin and guilt, right and wrong to the world of food. Coldstone Creamery sells "Sinless ice cream", which, you guessed it, is fat-free and sugar-free. I've seen many "guilt-free" treats..

Has this person never heard of the seven deadly sins, one of which is gluttony?

This has got to be the dumbest post I've ever read on that community.

9th February 2006

trancendenz6:40pm: Did anybody on here see the newest form of the Dove campaign ads. I actually liked the newest ones with the little girls because even though it's a corporation using capitalism (at it's best lol) I felt a sincere drive to get women to feel better about themselves.

Do you think American society (or any society really) might be finally starting to realize that women's happiness is important? I think that's my problem with many feminists because they seem to care more about making themselves feel better by making all women the same than about what truly makes individual women happy (in that they are jealous or angry or many who have low self esteems).

In that, I mean that from what I've seen, which of course isn't too great a scope, that the most outspoken feminists aren't looking out for the best interests of all women. They are looking for some sort of control that many people seek, but they get away with it because it's under the guise of equality. I mean look at kissmyass_cosmo. The perfect example of a group of women who don't care about the feelings or ideals of other women and are looking to satisfy their own perceived shortcomings.

How do you guys feel about that? I know this has been talked about before, but I think true feminists and equalists (I guess thats a world lol) need to start making a stand to show we really do care what INDIVIDUAL women think. And with that, do you think it's remotely posssible to use the system that does affect so many women to their benefit?

1st February 2006

rainbrains_girl1:25pm: Reasons I can't take Kissmyass_Cosmo seriously

1. They believe wearing make-up is wrong.

2. Ms. izzerwurst  said that the first amendment of the United States proclaiming "freedom of Speech" was bullshit.

3.  Ms. Izzerwurst is very intolerant of other women's beliefs and cosmetic needs if they do not correlate with hers.

She states
"When i used to work at an independent pharmacy several years ago i got fed up with 'feminine hygiene' products and packed up the entire douche/spray section and sent it back to the wholesaler without a word to my boss o_o" (So immature. And definetly she was not thinking that some women like to use that. A very selfish and childish thing to do.)

4. You are automatically banned if you question their beliefs.

5. The mental age group of some of these girls is probably around eleven.

6. They bitch girls out for shaving bodyparts.

7. They do not use logic when venturing into an argument.

24th January 2006

lovelark9:44am: The art of Make-up, the power of heels
This morning I spent an hour and 20 minutes on my appearance, and I am a dedicated feminist and dedicated destroyer of the patriarch.
It's not that I believe it's my duty to look pretty. It's not that I'm conforming to anyone's idea of what beauty is, it's that I'm celebrating what it is that makes me feel womanly.

I'm not trying to attract men, I'm not trying to compete with the women around me, I just want to feel powerful as a young female while I work my ass through a world controlled by middle-aged men. My heels and my make-up are in defiance, subtle weapons with which I fight the war to NOT remain in the backround. I'm no one's doll, and I refuse to be used as an object, but I will embrace and draw attention to those things that make me appear womanly. Like a badge.

I will continue to work on my physique for myself, not to flaunt. I will continue to play with make-up as an art form, as part of the continuing search for effective self-expression.

There's nothing wrong with being womanly in whatever way a woman sees fit. I'm so glad that there's a community that finally gets it.
There's a difference between TRYING to be a sex symbol, and embracing one's femininity.

23rd January 2006

cuntella1:59am: beauty standard
I really think girls dress up for other girls, and I hate that the kissmyass movement seems to not recognize this. It just seems like a huge competition...and I feel completely aware of it. I'm attractive, but I look atypical from the current beauty standard. Despite that, I would still get slammed by the kissmyass crowd for giving into some kind of beauty standard because of wearing makeup and "dressing up" often. It doesn't matter. I'm sick of people claiming if they don't look perfect to start they should give up on every kind of personal aesthetics. But that's an argument for another time.

I'm aware that, when I don't have a roll-out-of-bed day, girls who are less attractive than me seem intimidated by me and treat me differently. But if I'm completely shithouse around guys, they'll usually treat me the same...apart from really making a huge effort to dress up, they treat me the same. There will be days where I just don't feel like fixing myself up, I go out, hang out with someone, then afterwards someone will mention that I look especially good. They know I'm a girl, they know I'm not absolutely hideous, that's pretty much enough for most guys. All the other stuff is tacked on and carried out by us girls.

It just seems like no matter how progressive or liberal girls claim to be, they still angst about the competition of being pretty and are auto-jealous about it, and become extremelly irate when people point this out. I can't tell you how many arguments I've seen from these girls that just HAVE to mention "and then this blonde in a mini-skirt said" "and this girl was dressed up and wearing make-up" "she actually did this while wearing heels" etc etc, while trying to discredit or refute someone's opinion. Would they have listened to the girl's opinions more if they considered her, unattractive and she not dressed in a way that made them look better than the speaker? They probably would have. Because she's not "subscribing to the beauty standard" for whatever reason, aka...probably looking better than they are at the moment. It's so immature and primal, yet they refuse to see it. It drives me nuts.

Honestly, when I think about it. If I dress up and get a compliment from a guy (who isn't my boyfriend) I just kind of roll my eyes and think "guys". If I dress up and get a compliment from another female, I'm flattered and much more glad. A girl thinking another girl looks good is weighed as much more important, I think. I sometimes wish people would realize that boys who aren't 13 or complete assholes don't care THAT MUCH. When girls go through great or "ridiculous" lengths to look good, it's usually for groups of other females rather than groups of males. I'm sick of it being blamed on the patriarchy. Beauty standards have changed constantly and bottom line: straight men still like women. The end.

Females and males both compete in different ways. With us, it's looks. In a most primal sense: I can honestly say that if I make a concious effort, I can cause other females to look upon me with jealousy or intimidation. This makes me feel good sometimes. Girls that feel like they can't do this are angry about it. I'm guessing that's what kissmyass is really about.

btw, I HAVE known typically unattractive girls who are generally happy and secure with themselves. and guess what? they don't fucking bring up other more attractive girls every 2 seconds. it kind of negates your point.

7th January 2006

trancendenz9:08pm: Hey guys, I hate to promote a community that me and *guy* created but here it is. It's called blackfolkwatch. The main purpose was to be the antithesis to a racist community. It's not anti-black people, but the community we oppose is called blackfolk lol

Our community is also anti-sexist, pro-sexuality (i.e. pro homo and hetero and both lifestyles), and basically anti-isms. We really need members and this has become so important to me as I'm tired of -isms in America.

I'm hoping that people will first post their situations with discrimination and be open to discussing class issues as well. You can read the info, but I will tell you now this is NOT a community for promoting hate of any kind, even to those which we wish to change. It will be about searching out racism and trying to eradicate it in all forms.

Thanks for your attention.

5th January 2006

trancendenz11:23pm: Although...
...not many of you are libertarians (probably). I'm highly annoyed with the post in feminism about how libertarian ideals don't mesh with feminism. Personal responsibility, accountability for actions and reproductive freedom are all libertarian ideals, but somehow that doesn't mesh with feminism because apparently feminism means that ones personal responsibility only goes so far..that free speech is only afforded to popular and politically correct speech...that our lives should be dictated by how our culture perceives us.

Sorry if this is a rant. I've been up to my ears in annoying things today and I had to post this. If you aren't libertarian and you don't agree, please don't reply because I won't listen. I just needed to rant on a community that I *think* will understand. Sorry if it's out of place.

4th January 2006

kireina_michiru1:22pm: Hm, I got banned from commenting on KMA_C.

When the hell did that happen? I think the last comment I made was a few months ago, possibly about how people always get shot down for acknowledging that men get shit on as well.


So I'm going to post my latest response here, since I typed it up and all.


" The behaviour isn't very savory, but this world is run on capitalism, and these girls do need the money to live. There's no need to turn their back on you or say rude things; they probably aren't very nice people in the first place, but most retail workers need to make money.

I remember working in a clothing store for 3 months. That's all I could last because my boss constantly tore me down and insulted me and hurt me because I wasn't making sales, because I avoided the peppy people. I spent more time on the laid back people, and they never, ever, spent as much. I'm not saying this to be rude, but it is a fact I observed.

Retail is hard work, and although the comments you experienced were out of hand, it's not all these girls fault.

In fact, I dress the exact same to go out so I will be ignored until I ask for help. I hate being barraged."

1st January 2006

rainbrains_girl4:34pm: Why do all of the girls in the kissmyass_cosmo group always put down women with big breasts? Even if the woman has natural big breasts, They hate the woman with a passion. They don't want the woman to be seen anywhere in the media. They always complain if a woman with big breasts is spotted anywhere. They've complained about big breasted women being in paintings, video games, movies, malls, etc. Notice that most of the women with big breasts in the paintings and video games also have big hips. They are realistically proportioned so why all the fervent complaints? The ideal body type for many people has always been the hourglass figure which contains a small waist, plump thighs, large hips, and large breasts. So could it be full blown hatred these girls have or a tendency to insult everything that's considered popularity of well-liked just to be non-conformist?

19th December 2005

prettyashkenaz9:27pm: I hate sex. Anybody who enjoys it is a disgusting, slutty, worthless person. Sex will be (is?) the downfall of the human race. Humans should only ever be able to have sex a few times in their entire lives - and they will only conceive one child. A person will be able to have sex as much as they want, without birth control, until a child is conceived, and then NEVER AGAIN. I think that anybody who has had more than one child deserves the death penalty for overpopulating the Earth, and for promiscuity. Whores are lower than animals. They are lower than maggots, because at least maggots don't have sex just for the fun of it - as if there IS any fun in it!

13th December 2005

trancendenz6:34pm: why aren't feminists up in arms about this ad?

While looking another journal entry I came across the above link. The "killed for your coat ad" has me very annoyed and I'm wondering why feminists are not protesting PETA right now. I think fur is absolutely disgusting...but the shocking ad is even more disgusting. Using violence against women to promote an ad is one of the few things that I will agree with hardcore feminists about, yet they do nothing when an ad is being displayed on the front of a webpage.

5th December 2005

trancendenz6:26pm: wow another good job from KMAC
I can't believe someone was trying to see who would disagree with the use of the face transplant on that woman who was mauled by her dog. I would LOVE to see one of those bitches get mauled and see whether they would want a transplant that could replace their nose and mouth and ENTIRE LOWER FACE. At least most of the people weren't having issues with it, but I'm suprised no one called the poster out on how ridiculous that post even is. NO ONE should have an issue with someone doing something that clearly would make their life easier on physical and mental levels.

20th November 2005

trancendenz7:55pm: Again, I hate to do this but...
...this comment annoyed me. In reference to this lj user's "bum":

"I groom and I try to minimize the appearance of my bum... not that there's anything wrong with some jiggle in that area. I'm just conditioned to want to hide it (from everyone)."

???? conditioned to hide it?? conditioned by what or who (whom-i suck at grammar)?

13th November 2005

trancendenz10:51pm: One thing that I noticed about a lot of feminist "equality" activists is that when they write articles, they are not using any new or original material. Also, most of their topics, although controversial by default, do not give add any new controversy and never do they choose an opposing view and explore that. The first thing I learned in my writing courses was to choose debateable topics and pick a side that is not necessarily been written over and over again.

I was wondering if anyone had any books that were not anti-female, but written by true feminists and REAL books about how extreme femi-nazi-ism actually hinders (for lack of a better word) a woman's rights, etc. If there are any, I would be very interested in knowing about them.

24th October 2005


It's really pathetic that the girls over at kissmyass_cosmo get so riled up over a fucking magazine. It's a magazine! I hate those types of magazines too. (Well, because they're shallow tripe.) But I don't create communities to hating them. Nor did I let these magazines rent space in my head. These girls need to chill out. It's a magazine! Nothing more. Just pages of drivel. To make a community just because you hate a certain magazine is so fucking ridiculous. It's a  stupid little magazine! Why allow it to piss you off so much?

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