January 23rd, 2006

a: junkoooo

beauty standard

I really think girls dress up for other girls, and I hate that the kissmyass movement seems to not recognize this. It just seems like a huge competition...and I feel completely aware of it. I'm attractive, but I look atypical from the current beauty standard. Despite that, I would still get slammed by the kissmyass crowd for giving into some kind of beauty standard because of wearing makeup and "dressing up" often. It doesn't matter. I'm sick of people claiming if they don't look perfect to start they should give up on every kind of personal aesthetics. But that's an argument for another time.

I'm aware that, when I don't have a roll-out-of-bed day, girls who are less attractive than me seem intimidated by me and treat me differently. But if I'm completely shithouse around guys, they'll usually treat me the same...apart from really making a huge effort to dress up, they treat me the same. There will be days where I just don't feel like fixing myself up, I go out, hang out with someone, then afterwards someone will mention that I look especially good. They know I'm a girl, they know I'm not absolutely hideous, that's pretty much enough for most guys. All the other stuff is tacked on and carried out by us girls.

It just seems like no matter how progressive or liberal girls claim to be, they still angst about the competition of being pretty and are auto-jealous about it, and become extremelly irate when people point this out. I can't tell you how many arguments I've seen from these girls that just HAVE to mention "and then this blonde in a mini-skirt said" "and this girl was dressed up and wearing make-up" "she actually did this while wearing heels" etc etc, while trying to discredit or refute someone's opinion. Would they have listened to the girl's opinions more if they considered her, unattractive and she not dressed in a way that made them look better than the speaker? They probably would have. Because she's not "subscribing to the beauty standard" for whatever reason, aka...probably looking better than they are at the moment. It's so immature and primal, yet they refuse to see it. It drives me nuts.

Honestly, when I think about it. If I dress up and get a compliment from a guy (who isn't my boyfriend) I just kind of roll my eyes and think "guys". If I dress up and get a compliment from another female, I'm flattered and much more glad. A girl thinking another girl looks good is weighed as much more important, I think. I sometimes wish people would realize that boys who aren't 13 or complete assholes don't care THAT MUCH. When girls go through great or "ridiculous" lengths to look good, it's usually for groups of other females rather than groups of males. I'm sick of it being blamed on the patriarchy. Beauty standards have changed constantly and bottom line: straight men still like women. The end.

Females and males both compete in different ways. With us, it's looks. In a most primal sense: I can honestly say that if I make a concious effort, I can cause other females to look upon me with jealousy or intimidation. This makes me feel good sometimes. Girls that feel like they can't do this are angry about it. I'm guessing that's what kissmyass is really about.

btw, I HAVE known typically unattractive girls who are generally happy and secure with themselves. and guess what? they don't fucking bring up other more attractive girls every 2 seconds. it kind of negates your point.