Something that has been bothering me and coincidentally was the topic of a recent KMAC post. I actually really liked the post itself, but a comment really, really bothered me. Anytime anyone talks about beauty standards someone IMMEDIATELY places the blame on a patriarchy that only wants women to fail. This is so hard for me to swallow for a number of reasons.
The first is why is it that when women ostracize others or place the beauty standard on others it HAS to be a man's fault somewhere down the line? Are there not brutal women out there who find no pleasure other than to tear other women (and people in general) down? I find it very hard to believe that only men are the ones who wish to see this beauty standard fulfilled and often I think many who women perpetuate the standard by clinging to it only do so because they want to better than everyone else. They want to be adored. I mean look at Paris Hilton! Do you REALLY think she wants every women to be skinny and blonde? Then she wouldn't feel she was special anymore.
Second, do women HONESTLY think that all men are out to get them? It's like feminism these days consists of women who are paranoid schizophrenic. I look at my bf and think, my god does he really want me to fail? Of course not. Very few men want to see their sister or mother or wife or girlfriend living their life with depression because they can never reach this high standard of beauty. I mean, c'mon now. Let's think logically. The only reason ANYONE would want someone to fail is so they can take over or "win" themselves. What do men have to gain by keeping women down other than a world full of unhappy women that will most likely treat them like crap. I can understand the argument that women with low self-esteems are often likely to shortchange themselves as well as be manipulated by others. But everyone hates something about themselves. I often think very poorly about my own appearance and I would never let my bf or husband abuse me/manipulate me.
And as the person in their post said, most women don't even really WANT to attain this standard and are content to maximize their other attributes. Is it also a man's fault that most women can't attain this standard, or won't?
Fourth, plenty of men love women for things other than appearance. Of course a man has to be attracted to a woman or a man for a relationship to happen. Yet people are attracted to so many different attributes of other people that for looks to be the sole factor in forming opinions about a woman (or a man), let's be honest, very few people would get married or fall in love. Some of us look past the physical inconsistancies and eventually learn to love them/think they are beautiful all around.
Last, I really don't see how blaming some anonymous patriarchy is going to help women. If society is responsible, then we are all to blame. I'm tired of people trying to shurk what they know in their hearts is a deeper problem off onto people/groups who for the most part have no clue what is going on inside each other's heads. And even if someone can be put to blame, why are we blaming ALL men as if they have some secret club where they get together and try to hurt a woman's chance at success.